It's been a while . . .



I haven't blogged anything in a while. Life has been crazy busy, just how we like it. So much travel this year. I don't think I've traveled this much in my entire life in one particular year as much as I have in 2024, mostly for work but some for fun too. And, I'm so grateful. Because if it were up to me, I'd travel even more for work. Sometimes it's nice to slow down though and that is exactly where I'm at right now. I'm glad to have some down time. I shoot the first newborn session of 2025 next week and have a baby with a due date next week that I'm waiting on. But, tomorrow I'm headed to Denver to spend some much needed time with my sister and one of my besties!




I'm not even sure how to start to write this blog, but I feel it needs to be written. I want to send out a heads up to those families that are sensitive to infant loss or pregnancy loss. This blog includes both of those two hard topics as well as images. I do have permission to tell this story from the family it is about.




Like I said, I truly am not sure where to begin other than with how much this family means to me. In this profession you meet tons of people. You capture their personal special moments and you eventually end up friends with quite a few clients as if you'd known them all your life. They become family. Some of these clients I get to be with in their most private, life changing moments. I am invited into their labor suite to capture the birth of their child/children. It doesn't really get any more personal than that. That is how I came to meet this family. The Cook family.

A new parent couple smiles lovingly while holding their newborn baby in a hospital room.
A black and white photo showing emotional support and comfort in a hospital room setting.

Alek's Birth Story

Oksana's Birth Story

I've photographed so many different sessions for them. Maternity, homecomings, milestones, family, and birth stories. My youngest daughter and Alek share a birthday. I was in a labor room for a crazy amount of time as Alek decided he wasn't in any rush to see the outside world, LOL!!! I always say to people that ask about birth photography that I spend more time in a labor room with families than I do with a bride on her wedding day, LOL!!! And it's true. The struggle this family has gone through to grow is crazy, but it grew. And then it lost. You see, Svetlana is their rainbow baby. After everything they've gone through they still didn't give up. I can't tell you how happy I was for them when they announced they were expecting.


This past summer my door bell rang and I wasn't sure who it could be; we hadn't been expecting anything from an online order. I was stunned and it took me a hot minute to realize whom I was looking at, lol, when I opened the door. It was Brittany. See, they had moved from Ellsworth to Alaska a few years ago and were passing through on their move to Georgia. I cannot even tell you how much it made my year that they'd take the time to stop by, with kids, pets, camper, and all in tow just to say hi!!! What a surprise!!!! She even shared little girl's name with me.  That's something they don't usually do until their little has arrived!!! That's the kind of close you get to some peeps.


Not long after they got settled she messaged me for some recommendations for birth photographers in their local area. I did a little research and sent the links over. They were prepping for a huge trip to Disney with the kids and I hadn't heard back from her if she'd found anyone. There wasn't really a huge selection to be honest. I did get a message from Brittany on October 29th. She let me know that they hadn't looked at the links yet because they'd received some devastating news a few days after I'd sent them and what was I doing in December/January time frame? That message was followed by a copy and paste of what she had sent to family and I've shared a couple of the messages that were sent after.


"So being blunt. Fact about Svetlana. She had a MRI Wednesday the 23rd. She has, - brittle bone disease. - cloverleaf skull. - thanatophoric dysplasia. - it is VERY RARE. Nothing can be done. She will not be compatible with life on earth at some point. There is no timeline. We do not know if she will be born alive or sleeping. Our hope is for a live baby to love even if only for a couple hours. We do not know what birth will look like that's being discussed at a later time with team of specialists for her and I. It's been repeated over and over Alosha and I did ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong and they believe this is a misfire type of situation. All 3 of us are having genetics tested at a later date. Hers after birth as I refused in utero. Another child is not out of the question when the time is right this has been discussed with us and doctors. We are still processing as mama and daddy so please do NOT call and ask questions, it's not the time. Our specialist also said TO ENJOY as much as we can possibly enjoy our get away, we're at Disney World this weekend. Alek and Oksana have not been told they are still very much excited for her. We are figuring that out. We are still very much excited for her, yet heartbroken. And other family has not been told either. We love you guys."


She messaged me after this message:


"Due to the sensitivity I don’t want a stranger there, I’d want you who I’m comfortable with and the rest of the family and to capture those moments as they may be our very last with her."


"Alosha I and talked about that this weekend and he agreed he’d want you there."


You just go . . .

I rescheduled my carpal tunnel surgery for February and now made plans to make my way to Georgia when it was time for Svetlana to be born.  Knowing that it was a planned C-section took a little stress off the unknown and fear of not making it in time.  But we all know that babies do whatever they want sometimes.  So there was a little worry I think, on both ends that Svetlana would decide to come on her own schedule.  However, she didn't. ;) Thank goodness.


Time just passed and we checked in with each other over the next month and waited to hear back from the doctor about when it was safe for Svetlana and Momma to have her enter the world. And then that message came. The C-section was scheduled for December 23rd.


They booked my flight and I packed. I packed as if I was going to shoot a travel newborn session. Even with all the tests saying otherwise at this point I was still seriously hoping the outcome would be that the doctors had just made a mistake and all would be fine. Over the last month I was seriously thinking about how I would react or feel about the situation. The truth is there was some fear. I had gotten so much information from her and I saw the ultrasound images. You can't really prepare for something like this though. I can't even imagine what Brittany and Alosha were feeling. How do you even begin to think about the plans that need to be made for your baby? Svetlana's brother and sister were so excited to meet her. I don't think they truly understood what was happening. Alek understood. But Oksana was just so excited.


Travel day arrived and I left out on a 530am flight. They picked me up from the airport on December 22nd, 2024. We went back to the house and hung out for a little bit and then went to dinner. Brittany's sister arrived late that evening after too. We had an early Monday morning arriving at the hospital at 645am. The thing I think makes all of this surreal is the fact that at dinner I got to feel the baby move. She was safe inside her momma's belly and I know that if she could have just kept her there forever, she would have.


Three friends in cozy sweatshirts sit together on a sofa having an animated conversation in a warmly lit room.
Healthcare workers in green scrubs assist a patient in a dental exam room with wooden cabinets and medical equipment.
Medical staff attending to a patient in a healthcare facility room with monitoring equipment and furnishings.
Students sit together at a table reviewing papers and documents in what appears to be a study room.
A medical practitioner wearing a protective mask sits on a rolling stool in a clinical setting with hardwood floors.
Medical monitoring equipment and devices displayed on wooden shelves in a healthcare setting.
Patient sitting on medical stool in hospital room with hardwood floors and privacy curtain behind.
Three children sit together on a hospital bed with medical equipment visible in the background.
Healthcare team members in scrubs and professional attire gather around a hospital bed in a medical room setting.
Someone updating scheduling information on a white board mounted to the wall next to a laundry cart.
Medical equipment in a hospital room showing an Alcon surgical device unit on wheels next to a curtain.
Medical exam room with modern equipment and blue surgical draping on a patient bed.
Medical operating room setup with blue surgical draping and equipment visible in a hospital setting.
Black and white photo of a medical scene in a hospital room with monitors, staff and a patient in bed.
A healthcare worker takes blood pressure measurement of a patient lying in a hospital bed under white sheets.
Medical professionals tend to a patient lying on a hospital bed in an emergency room setting.
Healthcare provider in a hospital room tends to a patient on a bed while monitoring equipment displays vital signs.
Two people share a close embrace in a medical facility with cabinets and medical equipment visible in the background.
Patient lies asleep in hospital bed with medical equipment and monitors visible in black and white scene.
Medical staff and patient in a hospital room with monitoring equipment and basic furnishings.
Healthcare workers attend to a patient in a hospital room setting in black and white.
Three friends in cozy sweatshirts sit together on a sofa having an animated conversation in a warmly lit room.
Healthcare workers in green scrubs assist a patient in a dental exam room with wooden cabinets and medical equipment.
Medical staff attending to a patient in a healthcare facility room with monitoring equipment and furnishings.
Students sit together at a table reviewing papers and documents in what appears to be a study room.
A medical practitioner wearing a protective mask sits on a rolling stool in a clinical setting with hardwood floors.
Medical monitoring equipment and devices displayed on wooden shelves in a healthcare setting.
Patient sitting on medical stool in hospital room with hardwood floors and privacy curtain behind.
Three children sit together on a hospital bed with medical equipment visible in the background.
Healthcare team members in scrubs and professional attire gather around a hospital bed in a medical room setting.
Someone updating scheduling information on a white board mounted to the wall next to a laundry cart.
Medical equipment in a hospital room showing an Alcon surgical device unit on wheels next to a curtain.
Medical exam room with modern equipment and blue surgical draping on a patient bed.
Medical operating room setup with blue surgical draping and equipment visible in a hospital setting.
Black and white photo of a medical scene in a hospital room with monitors, staff and a patient in bed.
A healthcare worker takes blood pressure measurement of a patient lying in a hospital bed under white sheets.
Medical professionals tend to a patient lying on a hospital bed in an emergency room setting.
Healthcare provider in a hospital room tends to a patient on a bed while monitoring equipment displays vital signs.
Two people share a close embrace in a medical facility with cabinets and medical equipment visible in the background.
Patient lies asleep in hospital bed with medical equipment and monitors visible in black and white scene.
Medical staff and patient in a hospital room with monitoring equipment and basic furnishings.
Healthcare workers attend to a patient in a hospital room setting in black and white.

Nerves. Fear. Excitement. Dread. Happiness. Sadness. Anxiousness. These are just a few of the words that I can think of that this family was feeling. Alosha's dad joined the family in the labor suite and now it was just hurry up and wait.


The nurses, doctors, and all of the hospital staff were just the best. I can't even sing their praises enough on how they made things as easy as you can in a situation like this. They literally were there for everything that was needed. I was not planning on being allowed to accompany Brittany and Alosha into the OR. I was totally prepared to just capture what I could when they returned to the room. However the team lead Tammy had said something about me going back with them and I had a little hope. She said she'd talk to whomever makes that decision and then eventually she walked into the room with two of the OR "bunny suits" as they call them and all the scrub gear. Thankful doesn't even cover how I felt about that. Once they got Brittany's epidural placed things happened pretty quickly and we were on our way to the OR.

Empty hospital corridor with wooden floors, handrails, and fluorescent lighting stretches into the distance.
Medical staff monitor a patient in a hospital room with monitoring equipment and IV drips.
Healthcare worker in blue scrubs and protective gear attends to patient in hospital room with medical equipment.
Medical staff in blue scrubs monitor patient vitals and equipment in a hospital room setting.
Healthcare workers in blue protective gear assist with patient care in a medical facility corridor.
Medical staff in blue scrubs and surgical caps transport a patient on a hospital bed in a medical facility corridor.
Medical staff wearing blue scrubs and protective gear walk down a hospital hallway with wood flooring.
Medical staff in blue scrubs transport a patient on a hospital gurney down a hallway with wooden floors.
Medical staff in blue scrubs transport a patient bed down a hospital hallway during a busy shift.
An empty hospital hallway with white walls, fluorescent lighting, and medical equipment carts along the sides.
Medical staff in protective equipment attend to a patient in a hospital intensive care unit bed during the pandemic.
Medical professional in blue scrubs and surgical cap performs procedure on patient covered with blue surgical drapes.
Stainless steel door in hospital hallway with glove dispenser and medical supplies mounted on beige wall.
Healthcare professionals in surgical scrubs and protective gear perform a medical procedure on an operating table.
Medical professionals in blue scrubs work in an operating room with surgical equipment and a blue drape.
Medical professional in blue scrubs and protective gear attending to a patient on an operating table.
Medical professionals in blue scrubs perform a surgical procedure in an operating room with blue draping.
Healthcare team in protective equipment performing a medical procedure in a hospital setting.
Medical professionals in surgical scrubs and protective gear perform an operation in a surgical theater.
A patient rests in a hospital bed under white blankets with medical equipment visible in the background.
Medical team in blue scrubs and protective gear performing surgical procedure in operating room.
Healthcare worker in blue scrubs gently comforts a newborn baby wrapped in a striped blanket in hospital setting.
Medical professional in scrubs and face mask tends to a patient in a hospital bed during treatment.
Healthcare worker in surgical attire comforting patient on hospital bed during medical procedure.
Close-up view of a patient's hand grasping medical scrubs in a hospital setting.
Medical professional in blue scrubs and surgical mask tends to a tiny newborn baby wrapped in white blanket.
Medical examination room with hospital bed covered in blue drape and orange equipment bag in a clinical setting.
Medical personnel in protective gear work together during a surgical procedure in an operating room with blue draping.
Medical professionals in protective gear attending to newborn baby in hospital setting.
Medical staff in latex gloves performing a procedure on a tiny foot resting on a striped blanket.
Medical professionals in blue scrubs working on an infant on an examination table.
A tiny newborn baby's hand grasps a hospital id bracelet while resting on a striped blanket.
A medical professional in blue scrubs and surgical cap examines an infant on an examination table in a hospital room.
Medical professional in surgical scrubs and protective gear examines patient during a medical procedure.
Gloved hand holding a tiny foot with an identification tag attached.
Medical professional in blue scrubs and surgical cap performs a dental procedure on a patient in clinical setting.
Medical staff in blue scrubs and surgical caps attend to a patient on a hospital bed in an operating room setting.
Healthcare workers providing patient care in a hospital room with medical equipment and monitoring devices.
Empty hospital corridor with wooden floors, handrails, and fluorescent lighting stretches into the distance.
Medical staff monitor a patient in a hospital room with monitoring equipment and IV drips.
Healthcare worker in blue scrubs and protective gear attends to patient in hospital room with medical equipment.
Medical staff in blue scrubs monitor patient vitals and equipment in a hospital room setting.
Healthcare workers in blue protective gear assist with patient care in a medical facility corridor.
Medical staff in blue scrubs and surgical caps transport a patient on a hospital bed in a medical facility corridor.
Medical staff wearing blue scrubs and protective gear walk down a hospital hallway with wood flooring.
Medical staff in blue scrubs transport a patient on a hospital gurney down a hallway with wooden floors.
Medical staff in blue scrubs transport a patient bed down a hospital hallway during a busy shift.
An empty hospital hallway with white walls, fluorescent lighting, and medical equipment carts along the sides.
Medical staff in protective equipment attend to a patient in a hospital intensive care unit bed during the pandemic.
Medical professional in blue scrubs and surgical cap performs procedure on patient covered with blue surgical drapes.
Stainless steel door in hospital hallway with glove dispenser and medical supplies mounted on beige wall.
Healthcare professionals in surgical scrubs and protective gear perform a medical procedure on an operating table.
Medical professionals in blue scrubs work in an operating room with surgical equipment and a blue drape.
Medical professional in blue scrubs and protective gear attending to a patient on an operating table.
Medical professionals in blue scrubs perform a surgical procedure in an operating room with blue draping.
Healthcare team in protective equipment performing a medical procedure in a hospital setting.
Medical professionals in surgical scrubs and protective gear perform an operation in a surgical theater.
A patient rests in a hospital bed under white blankets with medical equipment visible in the background.
Medical team in blue scrubs and protective gear performing surgical procedure in operating room.
Healthcare worker in blue scrubs gently comforts a newborn baby wrapped in a striped blanket in hospital setting.
Medical professional in scrubs and face mask tends to a patient in a hospital bed during treatment.
Healthcare worker in surgical attire comforting patient on hospital bed during medical procedure.
Close-up view of a patient's hand grasping medical scrubs in a hospital setting.
Medical professional in blue scrubs and surgical mask tends to a tiny newborn baby wrapped in white blanket.
Medical examination room with hospital bed covered in blue drape and orange equipment bag in a clinical setting.
Medical personnel in protective gear work together during a surgical procedure in an operating room with blue draping.
Medical professionals in protective gear attending to newborn baby in hospital setting.
Medical staff in latex gloves performing a procedure on a tiny foot resting on a striped blanket.
Medical professionals in blue scrubs working on an infant on an examination table.
A tiny newborn baby's hand grasps a hospital id bracelet while resting on a striped blanket.
A medical professional in blue scrubs and surgical cap examines an infant on an examination table in a hospital room.
Medical professional in surgical scrubs and protective gear examines patient during a medical procedure.
Gloved hand holding a tiny foot with an identification tag attached.
Medical professional in blue scrubs and surgical cap performs a dental procedure on a patient in clinical setting.
Medical staff in blue scrubs and surgical caps attend to a patient on a hospital bed in an operating room setting.
Healthcare workers providing patient care in a hospital room with medical equipment and monitoring devices.

At 1222pm on December 23rd, 2024, Svetlana Jo Cook was born. Weighing 6lbs. 6oz. She was born feeling all the love she could possibly feel and was held by her Momma and Daddy when she went to sleep on her Momma's chest. She lived, for just a short while. But she lived. When you're a photographer you have the luxury of hiding behind the camera. But if I've learned one thing, it's that it is OK to cry. There were tears from everyone in that OR. I'm pretty sure of it. I don't think it really hit me until Oksana met her baby sister for the first time. She just didn't know.


I've found that when you don't know what to say it's better to say nothing at all. You just give a hug. "I'm sorry" doesn't even come close to making anyone feel better. And it shouldn't. Time won't make things easier. The loss of a child is an unimaginable thing. And I cannot tell Brittany and Alosha and Alek and Oksana enough how honored I am that they trusted me to document this time for them. I hope that the images I've captured will bring some comfort in some way, if possible.


I will never forget Oksana running into the room, right up to that bassinet and saying with excitement: "It's a baby, I found it! It's my baby sister." That sweet little girl knew she was having a baby sister before her momma even knew it. It's crazy. But it's true. Some other weird stuff happened in that room too; it even weirded out the nurses, lol!!! Alek, I don't even know how to describe how he must be/have been feeling. He was so nervous for his momma and her safety. Each of the kids held their baby sister, as did her grandfather, and her aunt. They as a family bathed her and combed her hair. Made friendship bracelets and did hand and foot prints.

A newborn wearing a colorful 'Happy Birthday' outfit lies on a patterned blanket in a hospital bassinet.
Close-up of a label on the lid of a clear food storage container.
A newborn baby wrapped in a red knit blanket wearing a Santa hat and holding a tiny candy cane ornament.
Medical professional checking equipment in a hospital room with padded chair and medical cart.
A person in glasses looks down at a newborn baby resting in a clear hospital bassinet.
Black and white hospital scene showing tender moment with newborn baby.
A candid black and white photograph shows a person resting on a bed looking down at someone lying next to them.
People interact around a cozy hospital bed covered with a plush beige blanket in a medical setting.
A family gathers around a hospital bed, sharing what appears to be a Christmas celebration in a medical setting.
Black and white photo showing intimate hospital room moment with newborn.
Black and white photo of tender moment in hospital room with newborn baby.
A family wearing matching pajamas sits together on a couch with their newborn baby.
Black and white photo of hands holding a small infant wearing a patterned onesie.
A person wearing glasses and dark clothing examines laboratory equipment in a science workspace.
A person wearing a gray sweatshirt holds and looks down at a white cat in an indoor setting captured in black and white.
Family gathering in a medical room with an infant being held by adults.
Healthcare workers attending to newborn baby in modern hospital room setting.
A young child wearing glasses holds a swaddled infant in a floral print dress in this black and white photograph.
Two siblings share a tender moment in a home setting with muted lighting.
Black and white photo showing a patient resting in a hospital bed with medical equipment nearby in a dimly lit room.
A child sits on a cushioned medical chair while holding a baby wrapped in white.
Medical staff interacting with young patient in hospital examination room.
Two kids examine a colorful rainbow-patterned box while standing near a gray chair in a home setting.
Two children in pajamas sit on wooden floor during a casual indoor gathering.
People working together at a table with food preparation materials and cooking supplies.
Close-up of medical procedure being performed with gloved hands.
Medical team poses together with newborn baby in hospital room setting.
People gathered around examining a newborn in a medical setting.
Family and medical staff gather around newborn baby in hospital room.
Close-up black and white photo of newborn baby's head in hospital setting.
A child in glasses and floral dress sits with adults while interacting with a baby in a black and white photo.
A tender black and white hospital scene showing a mother cradling a newborn baby swaddled in blankets on a hospital bed.
Black and white image showing hands learning to open a can of food on white bedsheets.
A caregiver in a black sweater holds a newborn baby in a medical setting with hospital equipment visible in the background.
A newborn wearing a colorful 'Happy Birthday' outfit lies on a patterned blanket in a hospital bassinet.
Close-up of a label on the lid of a clear food storage container.
A newborn baby wrapped in a red knit blanket wearing a Santa hat and holding a tiny candy cane ornament.
Medical professional checking equipment in a hospital room with padded chair and medical cart.
A person in glasses looks down at a newborn baby resting in a clear hospital bassinet.
Black and white hospital scene showing tender moment with newborn baby.
A candid black and white photograph shows a person resting on a bed looking down at someone lying next to them.
People interact around a cozy hospital bed covered with a plush beige blanket in a medical setting.
A family gathers around a hospital bed, sharing what appears to be a Christmas celebration in a medical setting.
Black and white photo showing intimate hospital room moment with newborn.
Black and white photo of tender moment in hospital room with newborn baby.
A family wearing matching pajamas sits together on a couch with their newborn baby.
Black and white photo of hands holding a small infant wearing a patterned onesie.
A person wearing glasses and dark clothing examines laboratory equipment in a science workspace.
A person wearing a gray sweatshirt holds and looks down at a white cat in an indoor setting captured in black and white.
Family gathering in a medical room with an infant being held by adults.
Healthcare workers attending to newborn baby in modern hospital room setting.
A young child wearing glasses holds a swaddled infant in a floral print dress in this black and white photograph.
Two siblings share a tender moment in a home setting with muted lighting.
Black and white photo showing a patient resting in a hospital bed with medical equipment nearby in a dimly lit room.
A child sits on a cushioned medical chair while holding a baby wrapped in white.
Medical staff interacting with young patient in hospital examination room.
Two kids examine a colorful rainbow-patterned box while standing near a gray chair in a home setting.
Two children in pajamas sit on wooden floor during a casual indoor gathering.
People working together at a table with food preparation materials and cooking supplies.
Close-up of medical procedure being performed with gloved hands.
Medical team poses together with newborn baby in hospital room setting.
People gathered around examining a newborn in a medical setting.
Family and medical staff gather around newborn baby in hospital room.
Close-up black and white photo of newborn baby's head in hospital setting.
A child in glasses and floral dress sits with adults while interacting with a baby in a black and white photo.
A tender black and white hospital scene showing a mother cradling a newborn baby swaddled in blankets on a hospital bed.
Black and white image showing hands learning to open a can of food on white bedsheets.
A caregiver in a black sweater holds a newborn baby in a medical setting with hospital equipment visible in the background.

Svetlana made the biggest impression on everyone in the short time that she was here. One of the most special things to me from that day, is that I got to hang at the hospital with Brittany for the night and we chatted and had a little girl time, after Alosha and her sister took the kids home.


I have no words. And I probably cried half of the time I was writing this. Thank you Cook Family for allowing me to be a part of your family and for giving me the opportunity to be there when little Svetlana entered this world.

Black monochromatic abstract silhouette design with geometric shapes against a dark background.